Life is a puzzle to do, not a picture to see.

For those of us who don’t feel like you have a “very clear path, yet a path full of possibilities to the point that it makes it so overwhelming,”

For us who a few have passions, yet you are trying to figure out how to harness your abilities, talents, and passions and make it all magically work and align so that you find your dream career.

There is so many possibilities for us, and anxiety as well.

The truth is, it is okay to not know the path because nobody does. They may think “Oh I want to do this one specific thing,” and then they figure out when they get there that that doesn’t make them happy. My friend Aditya Ali, my beloved had a dream of working at some specific company, and after years of hard work and perseverance he got to that point and soon enough he realized that didn’t make him happy.

I am 23 years old, and I feel young but old but young. The reason why I feel this way is because there is so much, I want to do and I could do, yet there is no one clear path for me at this exact moment. I am a multidimensional being and want a lot of different things and have different passions.

I often feel like “I am not doing enough,” like I could be doing things differently or “better.” There are a few truths about this. I officially got diagnosed with ADHD yesterday, and everything makes so much sense now. Understanding the way your brain works changes everything, because once you are aware and then you can find ways and tactics that work best for you.

Throughout the last 23 years of my life, I have noticed a pattern of being at multiple places at once yet not fully anywhere. I didn’t realize it was also clinical, and yes, I am a multi-passionate person, but I also tend to think one thing after another which affects my long-term progress with goals and makes me feel really frustrated with myself.

While I was studying it was not very clear to me that I had ADHD, and it affected me and my emotions because I used to think oh this is my personality when it had nothing to do with my personality but the way my brain works.

Where am I going with this?

We all have factors that contribute to how well or how bad we feel about ourselves. Another underlying issue that came up strongly and meaningfully was my lack of self-confidence, and this comes from childhood, generational trauma, and unresolved inner conflicts. Which is tied down to the factor of my brain seeing so many possibilities yet feeling like I do not have a specialty yet, which is a lie my brain tells itself when we think about too many possibilities and ideas.

Getting mentally exhausted from being overwhelmed is a very real feeling, and I experience it a lot.

The brain is such a powerful thing, it can create and destroy realities within minutes sometimes even seconds. & that is why I believe for people like me who feel so much, want to do so much, and get frustrated in the process is so important to remember having priorities, boundaries, and tons of grace with yourself.

I came up with a list of things that can help me improve my life, and have a more friendly relationship with my brain and nervous system:

Practicality. I realized I need to not join my brain when I feel overwhelmed with possibilities, instead start by doing one thing that brings me closer to where I think I want to be. I struggle tremendously with this topic because I am a planner, and like to feel “ready and prepared,” for everything I do. But I am ready to try something just for wanting to try it not because I am an expert at it.

I concluded the medicine I need is simplicity, and to start taking small steps instead of focusing on how I am going to make it to “the big picture,” because life is a puzzle to complete not a picture to see.

Another big factor I realized was acceptance of things taking time and energy. The other day I was listening to a podcast that talked about opportunities, and how you must sacrifice so much for a goal before you have a real chance at it. This is so true yet most of us want instant gratification and instant results.

I am the kind of person who wants to live a life full of passion with no breaks in between projects that make tick, but the reality is a very different one. Great things take time. Transferring to my dream school with a full-ride scholarship took two years of daily effort in my community college.

I want to learn how enjoy the transitions and know that is not about the end goal or result but the person I become while I get there.

There are signs all over the place for us, all the time. Emotions are big catalyst that let us know what works for us and what does not. We can’t normalize feeling bad about ourselves or having low self-esteem because since I have been there, I know only bad things come from that place.

Everything in life is affected by our mental health, including professional life, friendships, romantic relationships, and relationships with family as well. I am a big believer that if your mental health is not taken care of and then it is really hard to even understand what you want and you don’t want out of life.

Your mental health is such a powerful thing that it dictates the way you live your life therefore that is the main thing to pay attention to.

Therefore, to all my folks who can relate to me in sense of wanting so much yet feeling a little lost; first things first, pay attention to the way your brain works and how that impacts your life. Second let’s practice simplicity and practicality. Do one right little action that helps you feel like you are moving towards where you want to go. Fall in love with the journey, this is not a race or a competition. Your journey is yours which means own what feels right for you.

Last but not least, remember to deep breath and love yourself unconditionally.

With love,

-Vanessa Castro Leon.